Short Stories

TEARDROPS OF MY PHROPHET

        I stood confused looking around. Where was I? My white dress swirled as I walked, the light breeze blowing my hair back. I inhaled sharply. It was...beautiful. Everywhere I looked. The green grass was so green that it made my eyes look nothing but dull. There were flowers of all colors scattered everywhere. Mountains were really tall with water flowing smoothly the way water runs down your fingers. I smiled with giddy. A beautiful garden I suppose. Throwing up my arms, I spun and spun, making my dress rise up to my knees. I was barefoot but I could care less. The grass was soft as a baby’s skin. Flipping back my curly hair, I ran through the meadow. I never wanted to leave. The sky hung low. I reached up and passed my fingers through the clouds. It felt funny I thought giggling. Softer than cotton candy. Bending down I scooped up a flower. It was a simple purple flower but there was something about it. It wasn’t fully bloomed yet. I closed my palms around it then after a thought opened it. I yelped in surprise. It sat in my hands now fully bloomed with a kind of glow around it. Wow. Everything here was so fragile and beautiful. I've never seen such beauty before. Imagine living here but... I would love living here. I really would but there’s no one here. No animals, no incest’s, no living thing. How was I supposed to live without communicating? I communicated 95% through the day. However, there was something about this place. I really couldn’t tell. Something that made me want to forget all my worries and fears. All I thought of was happiness. Memorises flew through my mind. Of the time at my birthday; best 16th birthday party ever. My dad got me a new car. And the time I was crowned prom queen. All the happy times with my family and friends. The memorises were great but it was missing something. Something of who I am. I shook my head. Oh Gosh, why worry when I can enjoy? Rising to my feet, I brushed the dirt off my dress. That's when I noticed. OhmyGod, I quickly darted to a near lake and gazed down. Wow. I was wearing the most stunning dress ever. It was pure silk and white as snow. Running my hands over it, it felt like velvet instead. There was gold trimming the neckline and the sleeves. The dress hugged around my waist the rippled down in a flow.
Humming to myself, I walked on. It was a never ending garden. Whoever lived here was so lucky. They had everything. I only had to imagine it and it would appear. On cue, I shut my eyes thinking. I opened them and looked down at my fingers and squealed. There on my hand was an amazing diamond ring. So worth it. Smiling gaily to myself I walked on and on. Then I came to an opening. It was very bright. I went inside wondering. I could now hear birds chirping. Nice. I went in further and then, I saw him. It was a man wearing a robe that was whiter than mine and looked way better.
“Hello?” I said uncertain. Was he the owner of this garden? Oh God, what if he kicks me out.
“Umm...Sir?” I inquired.
“What did I do wrong” he asked quietly.
His voice was soft and sounded like a melody; a beautiful musical instrument. He turned gracefully and faced me. I felt my heart drop. This couldn’t be real. No, it just couldn’t. I-I-, No, it wasn’t possible. I opened my mouth to say something but only a gasp came out. Standing there in front of my impure eyes, was Allah’s (swt) most beloved servant. He was...not even beautiful could describe his beauty. The glow of his face outshined the glow of the moon and the glow of all the other beauty in the universe. His hair was dark and came down to his shoulders. His lips were redder than a bloomed red rose. Every bone, every structure in his face was just perfect. He was gazing at me with such a sad look, it broke my heart. His eyes were twinkling like stars but there were wet. I realized then to my horror that there was teardrops rolling down his check. Each tear sparkled in the sunlight, like tiny crystals. I gulped. I didn’t know what to do, what to say. I didn’t even know how I got the honour to stand in front of the Nabi of Allah.
You see, if standing here was Paul Wesley or some other famous person, I would’ve screamed, jumped and hugged the person. But I couldn’t move now. I was standing in front of the most beloved person in the world and I could barely make myself breath. I dropped my eyes. I couldn’t look at him. How could I? I was the biggest sinner. I did everything wrong, yet here I was. This was unimaginable. I couldn’t even dream of myself in his presences. My heart thumped rapidly, my palms getting sweaty. I glanced up and lost myself in his beauty. It knocked out such a force of me I couldn’t bring myself to look away.
“Muhammad (saw)” I whispered. I inhaled sharply. I really was here
“What did I do wrong” he repeated his voice sending a good shiver down my back. I panicked. Wrong? I wanted to suddenly laugh then. How could he do anything ever wrong? He was so pure.
“What-what do you mean. You could never do anything wrong” I said my voice barely a whisper. He looked away then.
“I must’ve. Or else nothing would be this corrupted” he replied.
I grimaced. I had a bad feeling. I shut my eyes then expecting him to yell now. I know, I would. But he didn’t. He didn’t raise his voice nor did he glare. His eyes were sad but kind. He was smiling that stunning smile that made butterflies in my stomach fly.
“What's wrong?” I asked even though I knew the answer. He sighed which made me cringed. He shouldn’t be sighing. He should be happy and laughing. He sat down and after a moment of panic thinking, I went and sat down next to him. My legs felt like jelly and the organs inside my body were screaming. I was sitting beside my prophet. It was decided. There was no way I was leaving now.
“I did everything I could” he said softly after a moment of silence. I glanced him and my heart sank. He had that sad expression on again. But he didn’t stop this time.
“I tried and did my best. Day and night I thought of you all. I gave up my sleep and free time, begging Allah (swt) to forgive you all, to grant you happiness and to guide you. I would cry and think of how you will face the day of Qiyaamah. And all you had to do was to obey Allah (swt) and follow my Sunnah. To never hurt your parents and wear your Imaan like a shirt. To not embarrass me in front of my Lord. How will I face him and watch my Ummah follow shaytaan into hell? Before I left the dunya, my only thoughts were of my Ummah” he smiled then at me, “I would do all of it again and again. My Ummah means everything to me and I cannot watch a single person burn in the hell fire. But it is so hard to watch up from here and see them mislead”.
Tears burned my eyes, my throat felt chocked up. I was speechless. His words had shattered me. He still loves us, even after all the pain we cause him every single day. He prayed for us every single day, and we cannot even send Durood on him one day. I hated myself then and everyone like me. How could we be so selfish and hurt him like that? Did we not see who he is and how much he’s done for us?
“Look” he said pulling me out of my I-Hate-myself thoughts. I followed his look and looked down. I had to clasp my hand over my mouth from screaming. From the top of Jannah, the place down below was a black hole. Everywhere was darkness. And the thing that made my blood curl was, it was all us. The Ummah. Heat flamed in my face, out of shame and I couldn’t help myself. I dropped to the ground sobbing. What have we done? After all he did. He spent his whole life praying for us, and now when he watched us, we only caused him great pain day by day.
Hands soft as a new born baby wrapped around me then. He pulled me up and gently wiped a falling tear. I expected him then to tell me its okay, even though it wasn’t. It’s what everyone does. Hide the truth. But he didn’t. Only wisdom flowed out of his beautiful lips.
“Crying is good for the heart but Tuabaa is better for the heart6 and soul”. When he said that it made me cry even harder.
“I-I-I’m so sorry. I really am. I’m a horrible person. I promise all the wrong acts I did, I never meant to hurt you and I never intended to disobey Allah (swt” I cried.
“You should always fear and love Allah (swt) and remember that I will still pray for you and the rest of the Ummah”.
I sighed. Was there anyone sweeter than him? Of course not. Then a thought sprang in my mind.
“Ya Nabi of Allah (swt)! There are good people too. Not all of them are bad. There are so many pious Molana’s and sheiks and so many of them is the walee of Allah (swt)” I told him excited.
“My Ummah” was all he said but I could hear the pride and everything else in it.
“Then why did you choose me? I am a horrible person and am not worthy of you” I told him reluctantly. I didn’t want to. I wanted him so see me as a good Muslimah and be happy with me. But I couldn’t lie. He shook his head.
“You’re heart is good. There is something in you, which Allah (swt) likes. You always seek the good in everyone and have never given up faith in Allah (swt) during the hardest times in your life. Don’t let go now either. Allah (swt) loves his slaves” he objected. A huge grin split on my face, my heart filled with joy. I’ve never heard anything better.
“I will do Tuabaa and beg Allah (swt) to forgive me. I promise you I will never hurt you again or forget my purpose of a Muslim. I will make you proud Ya Nabi of Allah (swt). I will not disappoint you and will try my best to help the Ummah” I promised. His smile was to swoon for.
“But how will I help the whole Ummah? I mean, I am just one girl” I inquired.
“Du’aa. It’s the most powerful and the most beautiful supplication ever. Allah (swt) never refuses and it can change everything”. I smiled sweetly then out of joy, I held my arms out and spun and spun......

I woke up with a gasp. I look around, holding a hand to my chest. I was once more in my jammies and in my room. A dream, just a beautiful, amazing dream. That's when I felt it. Opening my palm, I took a deep breath when I see them. There in my hand laid shiny crystals shaped as teardrops.